by Christine | Life, Observations
thanks to soulofaword.com for the photo
I’ve about had it with Mom Jeans, or whatever other moniker has been put on those denim (or denim-knit) jean-like pants that every woman over 40 who’s had babies reluctantly tries on and inevitably buys because nothing else even remotely fits.
(Note: I tried to find a photo of Mom Jeans, and what I saw horrified me so much that I felt I couldn’t subject my readers to such photos. You’re on your own! Enjoy the flowers.)
I used to work in retail. I know jeans, especially Mom Jeans (though of course, we didn’t call them that in the store I worked for). You know the ones – they hold your tummy in while cutting you off at the waist. Or, the zipper is two inches long, the waistband is now hugging your bladder (which has dropped and is protruding due to those darling monsters you call children), and your belly fat slops over the top of the jean. They’ve changed the zipper only because they’re trying to lure in the 30-something women who normally don’t shop in the boutique stores but who do wear almost mons-baring jeans. (They’re still shopping in Forever 21. No, seriously.)
When you do get a pair of jeans that makes you look somewhat the way you did 30 years ago, they stretch. Slowly, insidiously, until wearing them the third day, you’re tugging them up over your ass every five minutes so you don’t look like a gang-banger with your undies showing. (Because you don’t think the people on the street need to know you still enjoy wearing thong underwear even though you’re over 50/not skinny anymore. Yes, thong underwear DOES come in large sizes, thankyouverymuch.)
Where was I? Oh yeah. So, in order to get these jeans to fit correctly, you have to get them a size smaller. Doesn’t matter what size you REALLY are – because the boutique stores’ sizes are all fucked up anyway. You climb into the size-smaller pair of jeans, suck in your stomach, blow out all the air of your lungs, stand on tiptoe, and TUG LIKE HELL to get the zipper up. Once you do, and after hastily dropping your somewhat-billowy shirt down to cover the fat rolls poking over the top, you do a fanny check.
Niiice. Not airbrushed, no spanx, but your fanny looks smooth. Firm. The jeans slim your legs down (or, if you’re on the thin side, make them look shapely), are long enough to wear a slight heel on those days you feel daring, yet won’t drag too horribly when you wear flats.
So you can’t breathe. Get over it, you’ll be able to breathe in two or three hours. And just think, in three days, your waistband won’t be hugging your asscheeks because they stretched too much, so you get more wearability with less washing (depending on how dirty your typical jeans-wearing activies are, of course).
You think, ah. Jeans Nirvana. After several hours in several different stores, you finally – FINALLY – find the right pair. After checking out the price tag (GULP – over a hundred bucks?!!), you reluctantly put the second pair back. Or, conversely, you buy a second pair, rationalizing that they never go on sale so may as well bite the bullet while you’ve still got room on your credit card and while you still fit into this ridiculous size that isn’t really your size but woo, it’s a small number.
Everything seems to be going well – until you’re wearing them for the first time in your real world day. Stressed, late for work, too much to carry – you go to shove your cell into one pocket and your small travel coffee cup into another pocket so you can get everything to the car in one trip. But the pockets? They’re not big enough for your HAND, much less your cell phone. While the beloved jeans of your youth had pockets that went deep, and could handle that coffee cup, these jeans don’t.
Oh Mr. Levi, or Mr. Wrangler, or heck, the Gap – can one of you PLEASE come up with a Mom Jean that makes me slim, beautiful, eliminates the rolls of fat, has nice deep pockets but doesn’t look strange from the front, and will also shove my bladder back where it belongs, permanently?
I’d so spend a hundred bucks for a pair of jeans like that.
~ ~ ~
DEMON SOUL is out – have you read it yet? DEMON HUNT coming this summer!
by Christine | Uncategorized
In the last few weeks, I’ve been dipping my toes in other writer’s groups. Well, internet groups actually, of writers. Loosely gathered. Many topics of discussion, many levels of success, novel, magazine, fan fic, from beginners to old timers, from young to not-so-young. I won’t name the groups, because it really doesn’t matter. I thought it would be interesting, so I started listening in on the conversations.
I discovered a cold-eyed and cynical world out there. One where other writers sneer at romance writers (“bodice ripper” was used, though that term is quite out of date), even though they don’t stoop so low as to read the genre. (Funnily enough, those most derogatory about romance had read – maybe– one romance novel.)
thanks to thepoliticalcarnival.net for the photo.
I also found, overwhelmingly, lots of writers who are seeking shortcuts to fame and writing fortune (though I have to believe these are the newer writers). Plus, there are those who want to prove themselves smarter than the folks asking the questions. “Agents? Don’t need ’em” (or, “GOD I wish I didn’t have one, mine sucks”). “Publishers? NY is dead.” The atmosphere is dark, and politeness seems to be thin on the ground if a disagreement arises.
The quality of advice varies wildly on these loops. I have stuck my neck out a couple of times, doing my best to be polite while giving my opinion, sticking up for romance when necessary, and sticking up for writers all together. Writing is hard enough without us putting each other down, right? No one looks good spewing vitriol at someone else (or their genre).
ALL writing is difficult. Mysteries have their difficulties, romance certainly does, sci fi? You betcha. Literary fiction is probably the most difficult genre to pin down and most likely the most difficult to write simply because it is so nebulous – there’s no road map of any kind to follow when writing the literary genre. (Some say genre fiction is “cookie cutter” – I object to that term. I much prefer road map.)
That said, I firmly believe that all writing is a tough journey, and it takes tough men and women to stick with this type of career. I stopped being a wilting flower back when I was a ballet dancer in my teens. But these newer communities of writers that I’ve been hanging with made me uncomfortable, unhappy, and in many cases, depressed. (No, not all the people were downers – some of them were genuine, and sweet, and I suspect we will keep in contact. I also suspect they are romance writers.)
Thanks to zwani.com for the photo.
So it was with some measure of relief that today I allowed myself to stop following a few online conversations. I stepped back into the cozy, warm, accepting world of romance writers with a huge sigh of relief. In my eleven years of writing romance, and ten years of belonging to Romance Writers of America, I have been mentored, nurtured, buoyed up when I was down. I have received spot-on comments on my work from critique partners and contests, heard the right advice at the right time from the right workshop, and jumped with joy when friends sold, or were RITA® or Golden Heart® finalists/winners.
Through the Romance Community, I have met friends from across the world, across the country, and right here in my home town that I know, without a doubt, are rooting for my success just as hard as I’m rooting for theirs.
The romance writers’ community is one of warmth, helpfulness, friendship, and encouragement. I truly believe that RWA has it right – when the book tide rises, all book boats float. All authors benefit from one author’s success. Especially wild success, like JK Rowling and Stephenie Meyer.
Life is tough enough without having writers buy into the belief that they must put other writers down in order to make themselves rise. I am SO glad I could step away from that community, and return to the warmth, acceptance and nurturing of the romance writers.
There are plenty of places to go if you want to get beaten down by life. It’s nice to know there’s a place I can go to get the support from others in my profession. Thanks, Romance Community. I totally Heart each and every one of you lovely people.
~~~
Thanks for stopping by, I love having you visit!
by Christine | Writing
Thanks to thegeminigeek.com for the graphic.
I can’t figure out how to title this post. It’s about commitment, see, and I just can’t seem to find the right title. So it’ll wait until the end I guess. Hopefully by then I’ll have figured it out.
I’m about to start a short story, a sort of prelude to DEMON HUNT, the 2nd novel in my Caine Brothers series. I’m primed – I’ve combed through my email, I’ve scoured Facebook, I’ve Triberr’d and Tweeted and gotten another cup of coffee, went to the bathroom, have music on…the house is empty and I’ve got a full four hours in front of me to be creative…
…but actually starting the story is still a dance step or two away from me. So now I’m procrastinating by blogging about my procrastination. I guess this whole thing is a process.
Commitment to the story is paramount. Deciding where to begin is crucial. I already have my characters, my setting, and I know where I want the story to end. But the variables within the parameters I’ve set are endless. Plus, plotting in any depth gives me hives. (Shallow plotting? I’m there!) How, then, to choose amongst a myriad of possibilities?
I don’t know why this story, at this time, has me balking at the gate like a skittish horse, but there you go. Its true, what every successful writer has said – writing doesn’t get easier as you go along. With every book, you learn how much you don’t know. With every book, you strive to get better – deeper, smarter, stronger. So the bar is constantly being raised, and the writer never meets their own expectations.
I guess I have to learn to be okay with that.
thanks to Dr. Sven Goebel
Panic doesn’t go away with knowledge. Accepting a hit of panic along with a floodtide of joyous writing seems to be the only way to go. Understanding that the fingers need to just begin – commit to the first words – then the rest of it will come. Permit ourselves to write a shitty first draft – farts and all – will at least get the draft down.
Revision after that is a writer’s best friend. DEMON SOUL went through six completely different first chapters (and numerous main character name changes) before I found the right first chapter to give the right tone to the story. That sixth new first chapter was what helped me sell to the editor.
I know all I need to do is hop to it. Get the words down. 15,000 of them (short story, remember). Once they’re down, I can groom them, perfume them, pluck their collective eyebrows and give them a lovely glow with the right foundation. Once it’s all dressed up in its go-to-party outfit, the story will be ready for publication, and I’ll be one more step on the road to realizing how much I still don’t know.
I guess I’m ready to start. After I get myself another cup of coffee, put on some socks (my feet are cold), and change my playlist to something more soothing than Muse.
What about you? What do you find yourself doing, before you feel ready to plunge into a new project? (Ah, there it is…my title!) I’d love to hear about your tricks and tips to getting those first words down.
by Christine | Uncategorized, Wine Friday
Happy Friday, everyone! Malbecs have been making their way into my shopping cart lately. As I’m not entirely sure what the heck a Malbec is, or if I enjoy them, I thought I’d turn to my handy-dandy EVERYTHING GUIDE TO WINE by Peter Alig, the Wine Educator at Robert Mondavi Winery (or at least, he was when the book was published).
Peter says that Malbec is the fifth of the five noble Bordeaux varieties, but heck – the grapes are finicky in their native land of France, and usually fall ill to some disease or another which makes planting that grape a risky business, indeed. But apparently Argentina has taken up some of France’s slack, with California also sticking its toe into Malbec (eh – so to speak, lol). The Malbec grape is known “for its density, dark fruit, and backbone of tannins” according to Peter Alig. It’s also used primarily as a blending grape in France and California.
I managed to find two under ten dollars – let me tell you about them.
Don Miguel Gascon Malbec 2010 Mendoza, Argentina Alcohol 13.9% by volume $9.99 at Fresh & Easy Markets
On the Label: “Since 1884, the wines of Don Miguel Gascon have been recognized for the rich, smooth flavors that come from Argentina’s Mendoza wine region. High altitude vineyards situated along the Cordillera of the Andes Mountains produce full mature grapes for this classic Malbec. It is full bodied and elegant with soft, round tannins, layered with favors of blackberry, blueberry, dark cherry, and a hint of mocha.” Visit the winery here.
My Take: For me, this is a young wine. It’s still really bright, and the tannins are a bit harsh. I’ll be keeping an eye out for it, though, next year; hopefully that aging will have smoothed out the bite and kept the nicely juicy flavors.
My Rating: ~ Drinkable ~ But it’ll be better in a year.
Red Rock Winery Malbec Reserve 2010 Healdsburg, California Alcohol 13.6% by 
Volume Regularly $11.99; on sale at Vons for $8.39.
On the Label: “Inspired by the hand stacked rocks that help you find your way along a trail, RED ROCK Winery wants to inspire you to Find True Balance. Our winemaker believes that “Making a great wine is all about finding balance. It’s about fitting the fruit characteristics together in a harmonious way, so that no single element overpowers another.” In our Malbec, ripe berry aromas yield to fresh flavors of boysenberry, currants, and cherries creating a smooth wine that is truly balanced.”
My Take: Okay, I confess. Once I read that this winery is all about Find(ing) True Balance, I giggled the rest of the way through the label. If you drink wine, inevitably your balance will leave you at some point. Even a sip or two on an empty stomach (MAINLY for us FEMALES) can send you reeling a bit. So, yeah. That struck me as truly (unintentionally) hilarious. These people seriously need a normal person to check their writing. Just saying.
Oh yeah – about the wine. Young. Meh. Not bad, just nothing to get too excited about. If I’m drinking reds, I prefer Pinot Noirs or Zinfandels. So…maybe this will be better in 2013?
My Rating: ~ Drinkable ~ Note: Their website says that the 2009 was blended with other grapes for more depth. If you can find it, try that one first.
That’s it today folks. My back is killing me and I’ve still got edits to do. While you’re here, check out Demon Soul and the Caine Brothers Series page of my website – reviews are up, too.
Remember, this is all just my opinion and will be colored by how many political calls I’ve dodged, whether or not I’ve donated blood in the past week, and if my cat is meowing to be fed. Your taste buds will differ.
Thanks for stopping by – and remember to Drink Responsibly!
by Christine | Wine Friday
It’s Friday, YAY! Once again I’m filling you in on wines that are under $10 at your local grocery stores. Okay, to be honest, they’re MY local grocery stores – but I’m pretty sure they’re generic enough that you’ll be able to find the wines wherever you may be (at least, if you’re in the U.S.) Today I step outside of the West Coast of the United States, however, and venture abroad. But first…
To Swirl, or Not to Swirl? Lettie Teague fills you in on the art of the swirl – she’s got a video and everything! Go here for more info. Now…on to the wine!
Gabbiano Chianti Classico, 2008 Product of Italy Alcohol, 13.%% by Volume. Under $10 (according to my husband)
On the Label: “In 1124, Castello di Gabbiano was extablished in the heart of the renowned Chianti Classico region. During the Middle Ages, a courageous Italian knight, Il Cavaliere, dedicated himself to protecting our castle and vineyards. His code of honor came to embody our philosophy that the finest things in life deserve our fiercest commitment – estate vineyards, Old World traditions, and the enjoyment of robust wines. Our Gabbiano Chianti Classico has rich flavors of berry and pepper. Salute.”
My Take: I’m pretty sure I’ve reviewed Gabbiano before, but that I guess doesn’t matter. This is a lovely wine, and as advertised is rich with berry and that peppery taste I adore. We had it with parmesan mustard chicken, and it was a delightful accompaniment. It won’t rock anyone’s world, but it’s a solid player in the red wine department.
My Rating: ~ Drinkable ~
Picton Bay Marlborough Pinot Noir 2011 Product of New Zealand Alcohol 13.0% by volume; $7.99 at Trader Joe’s. (This was a screwtop bottle.)
On the Label: This wine is made from grapes grown in Marlborough and Nelson. Picton Bay Pinot Noir is fresh with delicious red fruit flavours, enticing spicy aromas and a smooth, fine texture. Drink now or cellar until 2015.
My Take: I was thrilled to find a red from New Zealand, and surprised to see it was a 2011. All the latest reds in the States have been 2010s, so I was a bit worried about drinking this obviously very young wine. As it turned out, I had nothing to worry about. The wine was smooth – young, yes, but eminently drinkable right now. I may have to put a couple bottles aside and see how they taste a year from now…except, you know. I’ll never manage to hang onto them that long!
My Rating: ~ Drinkable ~ especially at this price!
Goats in Villages Shiraz Pinotage 2008 The Goats Do Roam Wine Company, South
Africa Alcohol 14% by Volume $7.99 at Trader Joe’s. (Yes, that’s a screwtop.)
On the Label: “Africa has a way of bringing out the best in people. With its magnitude and raw beauty, and the intensity of day to day living, Africa draws on one’s deepest spiritual resources. Rebecca and Gary Mink moved from the United States to the wilds of the Caprivi in Northern Namibia, where they founded the Children of Zion Village to care for children orphaned by AIDS. Their immense courage and spirit however, could not fully offset their limited financial resources, and they were soon overwhelmed by the magnitude of the problem. An urgent appeal was sent for goats – and immediately a group of young does and bucks from our Goats do Roam herd volunteered, rushing north to supply our nutritious milk and gentle company. Our caprine colleagues who stayed behind in the Western Cape have carefully selected the finest grapes from which to make this complex wine. Rich, spicy Shiraz and ripe, robust Pinotage are carefully blended to emphasize the fruit, whilst judicious oaking adds elegance and structure, befitting the noble gesture made by the Goats who roam in African Villages. Enjoy this wine with barbecued meats and full flavored dishes.”
My Take: Wow, what a story! We had it with our corned beef on St. Patty’s day; and the wine was surprisingly superb. When my hubby tasted it (without knowing its name or where it had been made), he said there was something unusual – earthy, maybe – about the wine, and he quite liked it. I did, too – and am planning on going back and getting more.
My Rating: ~ Very Drinkable ~ I mean, come on. When was the last time you consumed anything from South Africa?!!
As usual, this is just my honest opinion and depend upon my mood, the weather, and what cycle the moon is in. Your taste buds will differ.
~ Until the next time, cheers – and remember to drink responsibly! ~
My award-winning novel, Demon Soul, is available for the Kindle and the Nook! Have you read it yet? If you’ve read it, have you reviewed it on Amazon?
My Rating System: Undrinkable, Barely Drinkable, Drinkable, Very Drinkable, and the ever popular Stay away! This is MY wine, you slut!
