by Christine | Life, Observations
Sorry for my lack of posting. It’s been a bit of hell around here this week. Both good and bad, and don’t they always seem to go hand in hand?
Me and the Boot on vacation in Mammoth Lakes, California. August, 2011.
First off, I’m back in The Boot. Yes, that lovely fashion statement is once again a staple of my wardrobe. On Monday, I managed to step wrong and cause a hairline fracture just slightly off from the place I broke my fibula 18 months ago. When the pain didn’t go away immediately, I made an appointment with my bone doc – and back in the boot am I. For a minimum of two weeks, then we take another x-ray to see what’s what.
At least it’s not the four months like the last time.
Theater Widow
And in other good/bad news, my hubby has been hired in a theater production down in San Diego, starting early next week and running until the beginning of June. He’s excited (when I have more detail, I’ll share) and I’m so happy for him. But right now, past midnight, I’m miserable. I mean, I’m used to being the kind of Theater Widow where the hubby is gone for hours, not days. The type where I go to sleep by myself, but wake up next to him in the morning. So this is different.
Plus, right now, he’s off auditioning for other jobs that don’t even start until this one is
From L to R, Tim, Tom and Chet Ashworth. Mammoth, 2011
over; and they aren’t here in the L.A. area. Which means more being apart. Which totally sucks. Since I turned fifty – since my warranty broke, lol – we’ve grown so much closer. He’s been there with me through all the worry and adversity and we’ve come out the other side a lot stronger, together.
I’m not good at being alone, I find. I don’t eat well. I drink a little too much. I don’t write, which is a damned shame and something that I must fix. I feel very alone, which is silly since my two grown sons are just down the hall. But a part of me is missing, and I’m not at all happy about that. And he’s only been gone since Tuesday!
In the grand scheme of things, I’m slightly ashamed at my weakness. I mean, my husband isn’t serving in the military, half way around the world. He’s not in mortal danger every day. I know a lot of military wives, and I am in awe of how resilient they are. I suppose, if my husband had traveled a lot throughout our marriage, I too would be much more resilient and self-reliant and stiff-upper-lippy about it. But I’m not. Inside, I’m whiny and mopey and feeling very sorry for myself.
I probably need to make a plan for these long nights. First off, eat extremely healthy and have only one glass of wine. Second, write. Third, figure out Face Time. (I have skype but the hubby’s iPad has Face Time.) Otherwise, I will waste my time in front of the TV set, watching Project Runway or NCIS reruns or something like that, when I should be doing something much more productive, like getting this book finished. And the next one. (Because I can’t sell them if they’re not finished!)
So, deep breath. I will survive. (Not too sure about the garden, though – hubby was my main garden hand. Will need to press the boys into servitude.) I’ve got RWA Chapter meetings to go to this weekend, and I’ll actually see the hubs for a few hours. Plus writing will get done. I swear it.
How’s your week been? What’s been Good? What’s been Bad?
~ Until the next time, cheers! ~
~oOo~
Demon Soul and Demon Hunt are all available for the Kindle and Kobo! Have you fallen into the Caine Brothers’ world yet?
by Christine | Observations, Writing
Traps Abound
It’s been years since I’ve played this game…
Remembering to be aware of traps and leeches is something that I have to remind myself of every so often, especially after going through last years’ receipts. Every writer should beware of the traps set for the unwary. Unfortunately, every trap is different, too, depending on the person and where they are in their career. So I decided to share with you the stuff that’s tripped me up over the past few years.
In no particular order, here are the things I have learned to be wary of as I go about building my career.
1. People Who Make Money Off of Writers. Every art form has them, the people who are like leeches, bleeding those who can least afford to spend the money because we’re desperate for guidance. (These are the people who get actors and dancers to perform for free, because every actor and dancer isn’t quite who they think they are when they aren’t performing. I’ve been both, and I get it.) Who are these people making money off you? They are those who profess to know what you need to learn because they have done it, and now are willing to teach you. I’m not saying all teachers are in it just for the money; in many instances, you can find good teachers at reasonable rates (especially online) who will teach you what you need to know/want to learn.
Plus many teachers are very good at it, and they do it because they see a need and they know they can fulfill that need. But when those rates go sky-high? (Tip: Just because it’s expensive doesn’t mean it’s a good class.) When the class is less than satisfactory? Yeah, then you have a problem. YOU ARE BETTER OFF WRITING YOUR NEXT BOOK than take a class you really can’t afford and might not get much out of. That said, classes can be vital to our growth. Budget your class money, and be very careful how you spend it or you’ll be like me. I’ve got several classes that I’ve spent over a hundred dollars each on last year, and you know what? Few of those classes were memorable and made a difference in my work. And now money is tight. If I’d saved that money, I could have gone to National Conference this year. Lesson learned.
2. Beware Of Other Writers’ “How To Do (whatever)”. This one is similar, and yet a little different from the one above. If you are like me, and you go to conferences and writer’s meetings, you have all these people sharing their way (or “a” way) to do things. Like, plot. How many different plotting structures are there? Without thinking too hard about it, I can think of 4. The problem for me is, none of these work AS I’M WRITING. Now, that may just be me, but still – I’ve had workshops totally mess me up and paralyze my writing. Not pretty.
I came to this epiphany at the SoCal RWA Conference last month. I was lucky enough to continue a dialog I had started with the fantastic Brenda Chin back at Desert Dreams last year. (My other posts about Brenda are here and here.) So, we’d talked about a book I’d sent to her and she said the plot needed work. We talked, I revised the plot and sent in the synopsis to her, and we met up at the SoCal RWA Conference where she said, yeah – there’s too much plot.
But but but – I had used the Latest and Greatest Plotting Device in my Toolbox – The Blake Snyder Save The Cat way to plot! (Blinks eyelashes, widens eyes innocently.) How can it possibly be too much? (Trust me, it was. Too much. Way. WAY. Too much. Maybe not for a single title, but DEFINITELY too much for a category romance.) Just another instance of how a great new “tool” can totally derail you. (Or maybe that’s just me.) Yes, be a sponge. Absorb all you can. Then let it all go, and just write.
(BTW – Brenda sat with me and explained the nuances of a catagory romance plot. Book is in progress. I’m a happy girl!) (Also BTW – you’d think, after reading the books for so many years, it would be ingrained. It wasn’t. Sigh.)
3. Jealousy This one hurts. Mainly because it hurts all ways around. There are some people I know who have marvelous careers that started writing at about the same time I did. I’ve learned to be happy for them and only mildly envious, instead of wildly jealous. Jealousy does no one any good. I have come to learn that, had I had early success with my writing, I most likely would have burned out because I wasn’t that good. No, seriously. I had a lot to learn. I STILL have a lot to learn, and I’m looking forward to that journey. I am content with my path because, frankly, everyone’s path to success will look different. Kick jealousy to the curb, you won’t regret it.
4. Anyone Who Promises You A Fast Solution is lying. There are none. There is no magical way to lose weight except through hard work. There is no magical way to become a brilliant writer except through hard work. There is no magical way to become a better person/good mother/loving spouse/best friend/critique partner except through hard work. No one will hand you a career. You have to work hard for it. Anyone who promises a fast solution is talking about moving money from your pocket to theirs. They win, you lose.
5. Anyone Who Says “You Must” or “Must Not” With Regards To Your Career. Be REALLY wary about these people, because often (but not always – see #1) they are people in power. At my very first conference (2002), I had an editor tell me that paranormal was dead on arrival, and try something else. Three years later, Ms. Meyer set the ball rolling with Twilight. Do take whatever your agent/editor says seriously, take it and live with it and make it your own – but if your gut rebels, then look at the relationship. Open that dialog again, and work it out with the person who gave it to you. Don’t take their position on an issue at face value. If after discussion it still doesn’t sit right, then their advice isn’t for you. This may change your career, but hell – IT’S YOUR CAREER. Not theirs.
6. Be Careful on Social Media. This should also be called the “don’t bash anyone” point. You may have been dismissed by every publisher in the business; but that doesn’t mean it’s okay to Indie pub your book and then trash talk about all publishing houses everywhere on social media. All that does is make you look childish and, perhaps, a wee bit unstable. Instead, use the trite but true “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say it at all” when it comes to social media. Because honey, what goes on the internet never dies.
I am a soft touch. I’m easily convinced the next wonderpill will make me look like a 20 y/o Victoria’s Secret model (after airbrushing) in real life. That the next skin cream will have people looking at me with delight and wonder at my glowing vitality. That a stranger will come up to me on the street and tell me I’m beautiful. (Oh, wait – that really did happen. Twenty years ago.) I’ve learned the hard way, and I no longer have the money to toss away on a class that won’t get me anything but a handful of followers (or whatever).
So I’m passing on my hard-won knowledge (for free, lol!). Please, all you wonderful writers and actors and dancers and photographers and artists and game designers out there just trying out your wings – please be careful. Search out the traps. Spend your money wisely. Keep working at your craft and keep your eyes open for new opportunities, and beware of those selling promise-covered snake oil. There are no short cuts.
We Need More Writers and Poets, Dreamers and Lovers in the World.
Without them, the world is a poorer place. Do you have a lesson to share? Please do!
~ Until the next time…Cheers! ~
~oOo~
Demon Soul and Demon Hunt are available for the Kindle and Kobo! Have you fallen into the Caine Brothers’ world yet?
by Christine | Life, Observations, Writing
It’s been twenty years since my brother Scott died. Twenty years. Which means my youngest son will be twenty this year. How did this happen? (For I am still a mere seventeen myself.)
My brother Scott Cunningham
I remember the day. It was a Saturday; my husband had two shows that day in Hollywood, and I had just been lazing around the house, being pregnant and happy and playing with my two year old. Until that afternoon, when my parents called.
I couldn’t believe it and yet it was utterly believable. The last time I had seen Scott, my heart had broken, and I will spare you the details. The time before that was in January, and we’d gone to lunch. Our conversation ranged over many topics and lunch, as I remember, took hours. I wish now I had recorded our conversation.
Anyway, the phone rang and my world shifted. It had happened to me before; the year I turned twenty, both my cousin Lori and a dear friend named Mark had died. Two separate, tragic instances separated my months and geography; both of which my parents had called to tell me about.
But those paled in comparison.
As Rosamund Pilcher said in her novel Coming Home, and I’m paraphrasing; Until you were told a loved one had died, they were there, living their lives, going about their business. It was the telling that killed. That last sentence has stayed with me. Haunted me, because it is true.
We knew his death was coming; it had been a long haul, three years of decline. Three years of giving our love, doing our best to banter the way we always did while hiding our shock at how thin he grew. Three years of feeling him slipping away. So by March we were taking it a day at a time.
Then I got the call.
In 1993, we had pagers. So in my grief, I paged my husband, who had to go on stage just then (in a production of A Midsummer Night’s Dream), so he thrust the pager at his friend Paul, and said call her. Paul called me and I told him about Scott; Paul had been at our wedding, and he had met my brother. Paul was on one side of the stage when Tom looked at him – and from Paul’s expression, Tom knew.
I cannot do justice to Scott, for I am only a sister, one he fought with, laughed with, at times protected, and loved. But here are some places you can go to hear from people who knew him, probably better than I.
Donald Michael Kraig wrote this article on Scott. The Llewellyn Worldwide Publications site has his books listed, and they’re all on Amazon as well. And someone put up this video that Scott did on YouTube and while I normally wouldn’t do this, here’s a link. Because this is so totally Scott, lol.
And we can’t forget the Wikipedia site.
Two of the books I love:
The Magical Household by Scott Cunningham and David Harrington
and Whispers of the Moon by David Harrington and deTraci Regula,
which is the biography they did of him.
Though, seriously, all of his books show a side of Scott I only barely grazed as we were growing up. We shared an apartment for a little while; but through our childhood, we shared a bond that I feel will never be broken.
My older brother Greg and I miss him, and we cling perhaps tighter to each other with one of us gone, so long ago now.
The moon is full, Spring is here, and it’s been twenty years since Scott’s passing. But I like to think he’d still recognize me, even with my thinning hair and thickening body, for my smile is still as bright and my arms still hug tight. I shall go outside into the moonlight tonight, and pour some wine into the soil for him.
Hug those you love, for our time is short in this world. A last note: I know I’m not the only one who has lost a sibling/spouse/parent/friend/cousin. As Gregor Caine says, “We all have our dead.” May we honor those who have gone before us, and love and cherish those who are still with us.
~ Until the next time. ~
~oOo~
Demon Soul and Demon Hunt are all available for the Kindle and Kobo! Have you fallen into the Caine Brothers’ world yet?
by Christine | Life, Observations
We took advantage of Tom not having any other commitments yesterday and drove down to see my Dad. Dad, as Dads do, is getting older and his garden had been overgrown with grasses and weeds during the winter. Which made him sad, so we decided to go down with picks and gloves and turn the soil for him, so he could plant.
My Dad, Chet Cunningham, with a fence post pick, in his back yard. March 24, 2013.
A small thing to do for a man who loves to garden.
The road from my house to my dad’s is a long one, though. And there’s only one rest stop between the two, on the 5 Freeway southbound (and one Northbound) near Aliso Creek. After being under construction for years, it’s all open and pretty and – amazing – a pause in the trip that truly refreshes.
http://www.beachcalifornia.com/beach/sandiego-alisocreek-reststop.html
I’ve seen this rest stop under construction, with thirty port-a-pottys lined up (wish I’d gotten a picture!) and lines of people waiting to use them. That was on an Easter Sunday a few years ago, I believe.
But now? Gorgeous. Lots of trees, picnic tables, THREE buildings housing both men’s and women’s restrooms, LOTS of updated features (auto flush, auto water and soap at the sink, air dryers). The grounds are clean, there’s a building that houses every possible vending machine you can think of (from gourmet coffee to condoms, chips to cheese crackers) and the breeze is straight off the ocean. Go up the rise behind the trees and on the other side, blue sea and waves.
Every time I’ve been there, I’ve seen a family picnicking. It wouldn’t surprise me if local families go there just to enjoy the breeze and the sun and the wildlife. Because every time we’ve gone, there’s been wildlife in the migrating birds. Yesterday, we saw red-wing blackbirds, gorgeous birds with a circle of red on their wings that show when they fly, as well as the more typical seagulls.
We also saw the cutest – and I do mean cutest – 8 week old Springer Spaniel puppy. White with chocolate markings, he was a sturdy little fellow, with big feet and floppy ears, and (after asking the owner’s permission) had the softest fur and sweetest puppy breath I’ve smelled in a while, which always just fills me with joy. Of course, I think ALL puppies have sweet puppy breath, but that’s just me. The owner said he thought the puppy’s breath smelled like skunk.
I almost kidnapped the puppy right then and there. I would have punched the guy in the nose, kicked him in the groin, snatched the pup and run, without ever making it to the bathroom. But he put a friendly hand out, wanting his dog back, and reluctantly I let it go, thus keeping me out of the slammer.
Tom and I talked about getting another dog. When the kids are grown (uh…) and gone (oh yeah). And when we don’t garden so much, because any kind of digger will dig up our veggies in a heartbeat. And when we have time to train and love and pay attention to a dog. That will be a good time to get another one.
In the meantime, we’ll let Zaphod, our polydactyl cat, rule our universe indoors while we work hard in our garden.
As far as my dad’s garden goes, Tom dug most of the bed while I interviewed my dad, staying cool inside the house. Tom got exercise, I got precious time spent with Dad and more memories, and my dad can plant his tomatoes now.
(Had to show a couple photos of the bounty from Dad’s garden last year. You can see why we wanted to help.)
All in all, a great day – plus I got a good dose of puppy breath yesterday. Life is filled with simple joys that fill the heart.
by Christine | Life, Observations
I love Daylight Savings Time.
I cannot lie. I have always loved the leap ahead, fall back routine. As everyone around me gets grumpy, and as we lose around a billion dollars of productivity nation-wide on the leap-ahead Monday, I revel in it.
The daffodils under my apple tree. A happy surprise every Spring!
My body rejoices. More sunlight in the evenings, more time to linger in the garden, more time to slow down and enjoy after I get home from work. I can feel my spirit unfurl from the chill of winter, stretch and grow in the warmth of the sun. This is a time, for me, of reaching out, stretching beyond my known parameters; a time of growth, renewal, and joyous abandon. Of taking leaps of faith – in myself, in my loved ones, in new opportunities.
In the winter, it’s different – then, the time change signals to me to gather loved ones close, to prepare the hearth and home for cold days and nights, for simple joys of hearty meals and fires and the holidays. It’s soul-searching, inward work that needs to be done. But the springtime? That is when all the inward searching is given the permission to flower, to grow.
I wonder how many people would grumble so if the clocks just changed automatically and if we didn’t set ourselves up to dread it so much? I’ll never know. But I dearly hope we can keep Daylight Savings Time for as long as I’m hanging around. It does my spirit good.
What About You?
Do you like the time change, or do you wish it would all just go away? I’d love to know!
by Christine | Observations, Writing
Because.
I’m in school again. I’m going to WanaCon this weekend (5am Webinar this morning about Twitter. OMG…but Marcy Kennedy made it worth while!), I’m taking the two month author platform course by Kristen Lamb (she calls it a blogging course but it’s much, much more than that), I’m taking a class tomorrow IRL about – oh too funny, I had to look it up – but it’s called Understanding Comedy – The Rules. Plus I’m probably going to sign up for Marcy Kennedy’s month long Twitter course, which is in March.
Can You Say Busy??
Let’s stop a minute and smell the roses, shall we?
In spite of the busy-ness, this all feels good. It feels positive. The last time I took so many classes in such a concentrated time was about six months before I sold my first novel; so I’m loving this groove right now.
I’m also really loving the Age of Social Media, mainly because it opens up so many opportunities to me for classes taught by amazing people that I’d otherwise never get to meet due to costs/time constraints/location issues. (I don’t understand people who don’t take web classes. Seriously. They are SO missing out!)
It allows me to meet people like Rhenna Morgan, who lives in Oklahoma and is also a paranormal and contemporary romance writer. I can get caught up with family and friends through Facebook, and ooh and ahh about the Royal Wedding on Twitter (okay, so I’ve been MIA on Twitter lately. I’m working on it.).
The Downside…
Unlike the Dark Side though, the downside of social media has no cookies. But it does have a LOT of noise. When I got home yesterday from the Day Job, I had a Skype interview with a fabulous author, and then a WANACon social webinar gathering. After two hours of that, I shut down and did not look at email.
Big. Mistake.
When I finally went online this morning to get my email, I had 236 unread emails waiting for me in my inbox. Which is a warning flag to me, especially because as I went through them, I deleted most of them unread. That tells me I’m subscribed to too many things and I’m on too many lists. The unimportant things are drowning out the important ones, and I need to spend some time fixing that. Again.
Kind of like getting your teeth cleaned twice a year, I guess. Twice a year I need to thresh through my email and social media lists and part ways with those that don’t nurture me. Let me say that again, but in a different way.
Keep only those email and social media lists that Nurture your Fabulous Self.
What about you?
How do you keep your social media in check, so you aren’t overwhelmed and truly enjoy your experience? Because if we aren’t enjoying the experience, we probably shouldn’t be doing it. Right?
I’d love to hear from you! Oh, and here. Have a cookie.
Okay, so they are unfrosted Christmas cookies. They’re still cookies! Have a snowman and leave a comment, lol!
~oOo~
Demon Soul and Demon Hunt are both available for both the Kindle and Kobo! Have you fallen into the Caine Brothers’ world yet?
